The Story of Dusk
When I first created the “Dusk” series, my heart was in process. “Dusk” was actually painted over a year ago, while I was on a holiday break around Christmas time. I had a two week window to be as creative as possible, and I felt the pressure to make things happen fast. I had finally decided that this dream of owning a business, which I had long held in my heart, needed to happen, and I was hurriedly filing applications and securing licenses for what would become Radiant Made. It was an anxious two weeks of hustling. On the inside, I felt utter urgency towards my dream, and towards my season, and I was, at that moment, overwhelmed with “shoulds.”
I should have started this earlier, I should have known that this was going to take time. I should have done this years ago. I should know more about what I want this to be. I should've been ready by now. Overwhelmed by my own inner critic, I felt paralyzed by fear. What if this is a mistake? What if I fail? What if I ultimately never get to do what I truly desire to do? As the year ended, I was exhausted.
And yet, even in the midst of my overwhelm, I felt an invitation, from the still small voice inside, to practice stillness. And so, as the new year unfolded, I sat with Hope Himself and prayed over what was ahead. I expected answers, strategies, a five month plan or progression. My brain yearned for the security of a step by step roadmap. But in the end, Hope spoke something quite different to my heart. Hope invited me to step into the unknown and embrace mystery. Hope assured me that unknowns were not something that needed to be feared, they were in actuality an opportunity for me to experience great freedom. Hope invited me to find freedom from having to anticipate every outcome, from having to shine a flashlight in order to light my own way. Hope invited me to step into wonder and trust that the stars above would be faithful to light each and every step.
As Hope spoke, I could tangibly feel the weight of worry fall off my shoulders as Peace welled in my heart. I was invited into the freedom of not having to know my story’s end from the start, and I was free of not having to be in control of making sure it stays on course in all seasons. I am, instead, free to lean into life’s seasons one at a time and let each and every one of them see their own “Dusk.”
The “Dusk” series came out of that time spent processing, surrendering, and trusting that Hope would be faithful to lead me into night. This series was a release of having to know the end from the beginning, and it was an embrace of letting wonder and joy take the lead.
To this day, this process is still unfolding in me - there are literal seasons coming to close in my life even right now while other seasons see their glorious starts. There are limiting beliefs that are seeing their dusk in my life as I continue the journey of practicing new truths. And in it all, Hope inside me is inviting me to pause and take in the beauty of the closings that surround me. Hope reminds me that sunsets are beautiful, colorful, and are moments where I am invited to be present to my surroundings, and practice gratitude in the stillness.
Hope’s invitation to find at the close of every season, a fresh and new “closeness” is something that I think will continue to reverberate all my life long. And with each season, as I practice presence, I can feel myself drawing nearer all the more to my own heart, and I can feel myself being drawn all the more into an intimate entanglement with Peace and Joy and Life as I am overtaken by the wonderment of night.
And just as it has taken this amount of time in my process to actually release the “Dusk” series, I feel it to be actually right on time as I learn to give my heart the space and time it needs in all things. I realize that even here, I can trust that Hope will unfold all it needs to unfold in its right and due time. I am learning that I am free to trust my own journey and process.
I’d like to leave you with a prayer:
Beloved,
May you be utterly blessed in all things. May you yourself experience the “closeness of the close,” as Hope unfolds within you. May you be unburdened of every pressure to have to light your own path as the stars above you shine brilliantly on each and every one of your steps. May you experience lightness well inside you as you become aware of your own limitlessness. I bless you as you embrace wonder and learn to play in new ways. I declare that the details of your life would order themselves, and that new seasons and new doors would open as they were meant to all along. I bless you with the confident assuredness and the knowledge that truly, beloved, you are seen, you are known, and you are loved.
All the love on this journey friend,
Rebecca